Satan is the father of lies. (John 8:44) Lying is one of his favorite and most used tactics. He is even so good at it that he may trick us into thinking it is our own thought or our own discernment when in reality it is a lie he has whispered into our ears. Beth Moore, in one of her studies, said that Satan can deliver the thought, but we have to agree with it for it to take root in us. A lie I believe Satan is spreading right now is that there are cliques among us. I believe this because I personally have been hearing a lot about cliques lately. If concern over cliques is not where you are at today, then exchange the idea of cliques for whatever you are struggling with and apply these same principles.
Jesus is working a spirit of unity within our church body (and the church at large) and so it makes sense Satan would want to counterfeit it and attempt to cause discord. One way he chooses to do this, especially in women, is to convince us certain groups of women are spending a lot of time together and leaving us out – cliques. I would caution us all to not take this to heart. What is perceived by us is rarely what is true.
Paul, in Second Corinthians, forgives a man the church had disciplined. He agreed together with the church to reconcile with the man so the church does not become the destruction of the man, but rather his restoration and healing. He says he does this, “lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices” (2 Corinthians 2:10, 11). Paul’s great concern was the church remaining in a place of unity and healing. One of the desires of Satan is to bring discord into the church body. Paul here reminds us Satan is not creative; he does not devise new schemes against the church, he merely has a set of strategies he repeats when opportunities arise.
Paul tells the Ephesians to, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one” (Ephesians. 6:11-16). Break this down to the keys of arming yourself against the wiles of the enemy, we find the core elements of protection: truth, righteousness, peace, and faith.
Taking just the first thing, truth would be enough to deter us from accepting Satan’s lie that there are cliques that exclude us. Let’s face it; the thing we have against cliques isn’t that other women are enjoying fellowship, but the fact we are feeling excluded. How do we find the truth in a situation like this? Are we being purposefully excluded or are there really groups of women actually spending as much time together as we think. The lie is either that they are meeting or the lie is that we are being excluded. Another good question to ask ourselves when we are feeling excluded is whether or not we have ever made invitations for fellowship to those women ourselves. Satan is so sneaky that he can get us upset with other people over them not doing things we ourselves have not done! In this light, is it right to be angry?
I have a lovely friend in another city where I used to live and where I met my husband. When I had lived in Toledo for a few years I was able to meet my friend for dinner. She mentioned at dinner how she knew we were coming up often and spending a lot of time with other friends but not her, so she was feeling so lucky to be honored by our presence. Yes, she was being a little sarcastic, because her feelings were hurt by what she believed to be true. I was then able to speak truth into her life and bring healing by relaying to her what she believed was not true. We rarely see any of those friends except for an annual party we had been going to. She was embarrassed as you can imagine, but what a great example of accepting and agreeing with a lie of Satan. Sometimes, you just need to ask the question. I suggest you do it in search of the truth and not out of hurt feelings, though.
I enjoyed one particular women’s retreat so much. I made my plans every morning but allowed the Lord to direct my steps. I ended up getting to spend time with a myriad of women I haven’t known well or spent much time with outside of church and I really enjoyed getting to know each one better. Why did that happen? People invited me to do things with them and I made myself available. In part, I wasn’t looking for people to hang out with; I chose to remain open to the leading of the Lord. I didn’t sit in my room and hope and wish the people I wanted to spend time with came and asked me to join them. I just kept my eyes open to opportunities and found myself to be greatly blessed by the fellowship I experienced.
Of course, there are going to be groups of people who get along well. Of course, there are going to be groups of people who get into a routine. Sometimes it takes a long time to find where we fit. If you are not getting invitations, then begin to make invitations. Just don’t let Satan rob you of ever having the opportunity by agreeing with his lies, becoming offended, and ultimately separating yourself from the group. Get involved in smaller group activities at church. Attend a Bible study. Show up for a work project. Pray and ask the Lord how you can provide the same opportunity for others. These are great ways to get and give fellowship as well as promote new friendships. If that is not what you are looking for then you become the hand extended to others. I have thought, in years past, the church should be responsible for reaching out to me and inviting me in and helping me to plug in. Yet, who is the church? It is not the building, it is not the senior pastors, it is not the church staff or leadership, it is you – and me. We are the church; therefore we need to be reaching out to each other. We need to be ministering to the needs of one another. If we focused on meeting the needs of each other, we wouldn’t be consumed with self. We wouldn’t be ripe for the wiles of the enemy and we wouldn’t become a tool of division for the enemy to use.
We, as women of God, must take care to beware of the wiles of our enemy. We will not only allow him to rip us off of the things Jesus desires to bless us with, but we will also become ineffective and ultimately counter-productive to the kingdom. Paul says well, “Therefore, [put] away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,’ for we are members of one another. . . Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:25-32). James wisely adds, “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). If we refuse to agree with the lies of Satan, we will continue in one accord and soon receive those things we desire.
If this post has spoken to you; if you recognize yourself in these paragraphs, take a moment and ask God to forgive you for believing and reacting to the lies. Ask Him to give you a new perspective and a new heart toward others. Commit to becoming one who reaches out and includes others in what she is doing. If there is a group or activity you would like to participate in or be included in, then ask someone if you could be included. Yes! This takes humility and humility is a characteristic of Christ for a reason. If we cannot humble ourselves to express our needs, then our needs will never be met. That sentence could start a whole new article, so I will stop there. I will finish by encouraging you to become an active participant in your life. Don’t sit and wait to be invited to live life, just get out there and live it! Take the risk and receive great pay-off, a satisfied and abundant life. You go, girl! Let me know how it works out for you.
God bless you.